~ A fancy ~
It was after everything. What was everything this time? This time it was special. It was a blindfold. A St Andrew’s Cross. Velveted bonds. A riding crop. It was hot welts across the shoulders, down the sides, and covering her bottom. It was the welts on the inside of her thighs. It was turning her around and giving her more rosettes, never knowing when the next blow would fall, never knowing how many eyes were on her at any given time. It was being untied and kissed, but not being allowed to open her eyes. It was being made to touch herself knowing that she was being watched and that others were touching themselves while watching her. It was not being allowed to come, despite the beating and the kissing and the touching. It was being bitten hard on the neck and smacked on the rear, having him behind her, pressing into her, telling her he needs her now, her cunt and nothing else will do. It was floating away in a rush of adrenaline and endorphins and whatever else is triggered in the pleasure centres of the brain. This is what she would say...
It’s a headspace thing.
It is (not) a sex thing (it’s
It is a me thing and a not-me thing.
It’s a service thing, a mind thing,
an anticipating your needs thing.
It’s about giving.
It’s about taking.
I don’t give, I take
(no I give and don't take).
It’s about shifting and staying still.
I stay still when I should shift,
Or do I shift when I should be still?
Yes, I shift and I stay still.
Doing what I want to do,
what you want me to do,
defying you,
defining your role.
Master - punisher - reward - taker - wanter - wisher - worshipper -
Do I worship you? (Yes)
Do you worship me
(I don’t know but I think
maybe yes);
I sacrifice to you,
for you, of me.
You before me. I after we.
Your joy, your need
Your release
(you tie me up
and you release me)
You pull me tight - taut -
taught me to beg for release.
You push when I hold still,
you dig where I want to climb
You need and I want to give,
but my mind
the space of my head
Is gone, it’s gone away,
far away from the pain.
The pain is not pain,
But it pleasure so deep it transcends.
I float and I swim and I soar and I dip
And the sense of sensation that is inverted is so utterly
A perfection of a single state of this mind of mine.
This rolling warmth
That is nothing other than
the weight being lifted when
what I give is taken - utterly -
perfect symmetry,
fearless when most vulnerable
All I want is for you, Sir, to be pleased with me.
